Ya’ll Been to the Dakotas Before?

Carin’Karen here lighting up you world with real-life scintillating, satellite accounts, and this next bit of yarn comes from outta the top of America, the Dakotas. And if you’ve ever been to the Dakotas then you know it is beautiful, brisk, and, some might say, boring. At least that is what Johnny from North Dakota told me one day, but to be honest I think he was just a bit peeved because he wasn’t able to get the broadcast of all the football games he was dying to see.

His local cable provider did offer quite a few games, but not ALL the games. He wanted the whole entire shebang-a-bang and wasn’t getting it. Johnny North Dakota and his cohorts were on the verge of waging some serious bar brawls if this situation was not rectified ASAP.

Because I’m Carin’ Karen, I wanted to prevent any unnecessary roughness, if ya know whadda mean, so I gave Johnny North Dakota one of the best and most powerful gifts you can give someone. (And no I don’t mean phone sex for all you pervs out there thinking such things). I gave him valuable information.

“Johnny North Dakota, darling,” I said. “Both Dish Network and Direct TV offer season passes to all the games, all the time.”

There was mute silence on the other end of the line. I was scared that I might have thrilled him to death. Then I heard him hooting and hollering, maybe breaking a couple items of furniture –he sounded like a big fella. I let him know that this was only one of the many features satellite tv offered customers, like sports packages, premiere movie channels, satellite radio and local channels. When I prepared to launch into the utter unbelievability (I believe I just made that word up) of high-definition satellite TV, well Johnny North Dakota was already begging to be hooked-up immediately.

“Can you come over right now and get that sucker on my roof ASAP?” he hooted.

“We’ll be sure to get you connected right away, Mr. North Dakota.”

We can’t all be Mother Teresas or Dalai Lamas, but I can be Carin” Karen.

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